I’m about to do something that’s going to make you groan, but bear with me.
I’m about to complain about being skinny.
I get the message loud and clear- skinny girls can’t complain about their bodies unless they want a lecture about how lucky they are and why it’s so difficult to be overweight in America today.
Let me begin by saying I think ‘fat-shaming,’ as the phenomena has come to be known, is sick, hateful garbage. This is not a piece about how fat-shaming promotes fitness or whatever ridiculous lies bullies tell themselves to sleep at night.
But thin-shaming exists, and if you think it doesn’t, then you are probably one of the girls who told me to shut the hell up in locker-room when you heard me comment on the skin above my hips as I pinched them with dismay. The truth is, I’ve just always been rather frail, even before weight really became a part of my social sphere. But when you started to talk about my weight all the time, ask me if I was anorexic in front of others, when you made a big deal out of it every time I did eat-
Your obsession became my obsession, and weight began to consume my thoughts too, You made my weight my identity and you made food an enemy.
You are not just the girl in the locker-room. You are the ex’s, and the well-meaning best friends, and the insecure girls, and the cat-callers on M St.
But you’re right. I am lucky. I went home every night to people who loved me and watched over me and I never went too far down that dark road. We know many girls aren’t so lucky. Body dysmorphism is an issue for thin women as much as it is for overweight women.
Let’s stop pretending we’re shaming women for being ‘fat,’ ‘skinny,’ slutty,’ or anything else.
Women are shamed for being imperfect.
We are expected to devote ourselves to a never-ending pursuit of perfection.
This impossible goal is what keeps Revlon in business, women below the glass ceiling and girls out of schools all over the world.
“A house divided against itself cannot stand. “
There will never be ‘equality for (just) fat women,’ or ‘equality for (just) harpy shrews’.
Men do not dominate this world in numbers, they dominate this world by consistently helping each other.
There is no phrase perfectly comparable to “bros before hoes” to describe women’s’ friendships. Men see a ‘brother’ in their fellow man. Ladies, think about who you consider your ‘sisters’. If you find that your ‘sisters’ tend to all look or think the same way, consider whether you are a part of the problem.