Ok this article has been making the rounds on the interwebs suddenly and I call BULLSHIT.
As someone who never intends to have a traditional wedding or marriage (if I even end up getting married at all), it’s entirely possible I don’t *get* it… But I think marrying someone for A. their family, or B. Your future unborn family, is creepy, antiquated and weird.
If I get married it will be completely for me. That lucky son of a bitch better be making me a better version of myself, challenging me and making me happy (lotta me’s, I know). To me, that’s what a romantic partner is- someone who complements and enhances you and your life.
I have been in relationships where I gave everything to that other person, living and breathing for their happiness and guess what- it was draining and ruined my life and self-esteem. I realize that that’s not how it happens for everyone, but my point is the same. I think this idea that we marry for a family is based on out of date assumptions about men and women, love and families. The truth is, more and more people see marriage as ‘just a piece of paper’ and they live fulfilling lives and have normal children. This idea that I need to serve my husband, and/or that he should be serving me is biblical era bullshit. While it may not seem gendered because each is serving the other, the expectations of how are very, very gendered.
That doesn’t just go for heterosexual relationships. If anything, I would imagine that this perpetuation of the male-female dynamic in relationships is even less applicable in homosexual relationships.
Besides the ideological implications of this chain mail anecdote, there is an underlying truth I believe: If you live your life for other people, you will lose yourself- and I would much rather be alone than have no one to be alone with.
What do you guys think? Am I a calloused shell of a human who just doesn’t get love or is this some antiquated gender role bullshit?
Share your thoughts in da comments.
PS- the whole “it’s not for him… It’s for others” line was cheesy and dumb and made me irrationally angry.