New installment of The Worst Thing I Read This Week
I guess I need to clarify why…
The truth is, I don’t care about your feelings. I don’t care how your day went, I don’t care about your friends, your relationship, or your complaints about gender issues. Also, I am not the least bit attracted to you. How could I be?
Ok this is apathy, not equality. My brother cares about how my day went because he’s a good brother and he loves me… If that’s not the way you and sisters’ relationship works- ok, but it’s not because your family is gender-neutral.
That would be gross, after all, you ARE my sister.
I don’t always treat you with sensitivity, in fact sometimes I can be a lout. That’s what brothers do, they prepare you for a life time of dealing with men. Imagine how crazy it would be surrounded by men who are only interested in you sexually or romantically?? Those guys will say anything, DO anything to get you to pay attention to them, to get you to sleep with them, so how much can you really trust what they say or do for you? I mean I’d love it if you met a really cool guy who made you happy, but I know what men are like and I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon. You can dream though, that’s cool with me. Just don’t be mad when I snicker.
As a woman who used to work at a bar, a lot of my day is and was spent rolling my eyes at catcallers and unsolicited suitors, so I don’t have to imagine what that’s like.
I know sometimes I say mean things, I think some of your interests, especially this new found feminism, is kind of silly. Just as I am sure that you think some of my “guy” stuff is pretty lame. That’s cool, we can agree to disagree. Just don’t expect me to join your club; if I did, it would only be to meet other girls who aren’t my sisters. Which is not the kind of guy I am.
I’m sorry, what? You think feminism is silly and you want to defend yourself in the comments section? No dice.
I’m your big brother. That may seem belittling, misogynist and patriarchal, but hey, I didn’t start this family, I’m just in it with you. We can’t be equal, I don’t want to be equal with you. You’re smart and compassionate and caring, you are naive and daring and adventurous and shy. You are all kinds of things I am not, how can I equal that? We’re just different, we share the same parents but we’ve got different skills and interests. That’s just the way it is. In some things, you are far superior to me. In other things, not so much. It’s not our place to judge which things are more valued and any society that doesn’t appreciate the gifts of all people, no matter how diverse and different they may be, is not a society that should ever allow anyone to be judged. Judging others is so 20th century.
Girls have to be a certain way and boys have to be a certain way. Riiiiight, and you’re not sexist.
I know sometimes you hate me. I embarrass you when you are with your boyfriend and I remind you that I told you he was a loser after he dumps you at the worst possible moment. I won’t fight Mom and Dad to get you equal time with the car because that just means less time for me. I don’t ever want to see you post those kinds of pictures on Facebook again. That’s fair, I know I deserve it sometimes, but guess what?
I never hate you. Never. I may hate the choices you make, the clothes you wear, the men you date, the music you like, the movies you watch, the new haircut, your monthly mood swings, your interests, your career and all of your friends. But I could never hate my sisters.
Ok this seems to super specific to your actual sisters… But the title says “to the women of the world”… Who aren’t all your sisters… So you’re not attracted to the women of the world, nor do you care about their feelings or how their days went. I’m getting confused.
It might sound strange to hear this, because all you hear all day is nice things from guys who want to get you naked. They agree with everything you say, they fake interest in all your causes, only to mock them behind your back with the guys. There is no such thing as male feminists, there is only big brothers and guys who want to sleep with you. I know some big brothers are nicer than I am, but this is who I am. I can try to be nicer, but I can’t act like those guys who want to sleep with you. I already said it twice, that is just gross.
This. Is. Not. True. What about fathers, uncles, grandfathers and all the other men in this world who would beg to differ because they believe in the equality of women. You. Are. Wrong.
I’m willing to defend you, stick up for you, give my life to save yours if needed. That’s easy, you are my family and it is the right thing to do. I cannot, however, always be nice.
I do not need your saving and I promise I am far less nice than you.
I’m Big Brother. You are all my sisters. Even though we may never get along and will disagree on everything, I still kicked the guy’s ass who grabbed yours in the elevator. I don’t need your permission, that is just what big brother’s do. . . .
You don’t need my permission to fight my battles for me? This is chauvinistic horseshit. I’m getting angrier by the character.
Let it be known, menfolk, I- and many other women- can fight my own battles and could kick your ass if you got me mad enough.
Which, incidentally, you have.
To The Women Of The World. . . . | Richard Evans – Writer of Oddities.